Subject: Gender Vocabulary
WOMAN'S ENGLISH
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want
It's your decision. = The correct
decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want. = You'll
pay for this later!
We need to talk. = I need to
complain.
Sure... go ahead = I don't
want you to.
I'm not upset. = Of course
I'm upset, you moron!
You're certainly attentive
tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
This kitchen is so inconvenient.
= I want a new house.
I want new curtains. = and
carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
Hang the picture there. = NO,
I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise. = I noticed
you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going
to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? =
I did something today you're really not
going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on
T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm
beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? =
{Too late, you're dead}
Was that the baby? = Why don't
you get out of bed and walk him until he
goes to sleep?
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am
yelling because I think this is important.
MEN'S ENGLISH
Yes = Yes
No = No
I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired. = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie?
= I'd eventually like to have sex w/you.
Can I take you out to dinner?
= I'd eventually like to have sex w/you.
Can I call you sometime? =
I'd eventually like to have sex w/you.
May I have this dance? = I'd
eventually like to have sex w/you.
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give
you a massage. = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = I don't see
why you are making such a big deal out of
this.
What's wrong? = What meaningless
self-inflicted psychological trauma are
you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex
tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored. = Do you want to
have sex?
I love you. = Let's have sex
now.
I love you, too. = Okay, I
said it...we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut
your hair. = I liked it better before.
Yes, I like the way you cut
your hair. = $50.00 and it doesn't look that
much different!
Let's talk. = I am trying to
impress you by showing that I am a deep
person so that you'd like to
have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want
to make it illegal for you to have sex with
other guys.
(while shopping) I like that
one better. = Pick any freakin dress and
let's go home