Current thoughts on Osama Bin Laden...
"It was reported today that Osama Bin
Laden has 50 brothers and sisters - Which
absolutely shocked me because I had no idea
he was Catholic"
Conan O'Brien
"You read about all these terrorists,
most of them came here legally, but they
hung around on these expired visas, some
for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare
that to Blockbuster; you are two days late
with a video and these people are all over
you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration."
Jay Leno
"U.S. Government has said they are now
going to go after the terrorist's electronic
banking system. You know what they should
do? They should transfer bin Laden's funds
to my bank. They'd mess up his deposits,
screw up his statement and nickel and dime
him to death with service charges."
Jay Leno
"This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich
kid worth $300M. I have three words for this
guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over
there, she'll get his money, he'll be dead
in a week."
Jay Leno
"Everybody is talking about finding
bin Laden. How about finding Dick Cheney?
Where did he go? What have we got caves over
here now, too? Where did he go? I think his
Secret Service code name is 'Waldo.'"
Jay Leno
"President Bush has urged people to
get back to normal and today Congress announced
that they are accepting bribes again."
Jay Leno "People want to say there isn't
racial profiling at the airport, but let's
be honest. If you first name is Mohammed,
and your last name isn't Ali, leave a little
extra time." Jay Leno "President
Bush's popularity 90 percent, the highest
popularity ever ... if President Bush ran
for president today he could actually be
elected."
Jay Leno
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