How to annoy people:
1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies,
reduce 200%, extra dark,
17 inch paper.
2. In the memo field of all your checks write "terrible service".
3. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally
with your pen while
talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Keep your windshield wipers working in
all weather conditions to
keep them tuned up".
7. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all
the people are green, and
insist to others you "like it that
way".
8. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
9. Publicly investigate just how slowly you
can make a "croaking"
noise.
10. Honk and wave at strangers.
11. Decline to be seated at a restaurant,
and simply eat the
complimentary mints by the
cash register.
12. TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE.
13. type only in lower case.
14. Dont use any punctuation either
15. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic
cones and reroute whole
streets.
16. Repeat the following conversation a dozen
times: "Do you hear
that?" "What?" "Never mind,
it's gone now."
17. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
18. Try playing the William Tell Overture
by tapping on the bottom of
your chin. When nearly
done, announce, "no, wait, I messed up."
And repeat.
19. Ask people what gender they are.
20. While making presentations, occasionally
bob your head like a
parakeet.
21. Sit in your front yard pointing a hairdryer
at passing cars to see
if they slow down.
22. Sing along at the opera.
23. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
24. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions
and then scribble their
answers in a notebook and
mutter something about "psychological
profiles".
25. Tell your best friend 5 days ahead
of time that you can't come to
their party because you're
not in the mood.
26. Send this email to everyone in your email
address book even if
they sent it to you or have
asked you not to send things like
this.
27. Type alll you're email reaal fast &
dontt even try to figurew out
hoiw to use the spel checker.